How To Care For Your Face

A whining child is bad enough but a chorus of multiple whiners in a day care environment can seriously challenge your sanity. We all know how  draining and irritating the ‘whine zone’ can be.  Most of us will take a full blown yet short lived tantrum over the constant, ongoing, nerve grating torture that is a whiny child.  Fear not, it is possible to deal with the offending whinester and restore some semblance of peace and tranquillity.

Hunger, tiredness, boredom and feeling unwell are factors that can precipitate whining sessions.  Attempting to identify if any of these are the triggers can help minimize the whinefest.  Unfortunately, whining is a very unattractive trait that, if left to it’s own devices, can become a method of communicating which may last for many years.  Though there is no sure fire way of curing whining there are methods you can use to prevent outbreaks.

Attracting adult attention can often be the reason a child whines usually as a last resort.  The whine is the final result of their escalating attempts to gain recognition.  Adults, we have the power to acknowledge the little ones.  You can often preempt the annoying behavior by simply listening to what kids are trying to say.  Get down to their level and find out what’s going on.  Sometimes a little face time, perhaps doing some quiet activity is all it takes.  Peaceful times can often be achieved via a little constructive attention.

Children need to learn the difference between various tones of voice and discovering how whining sounds is no different.  Explain to the child that a whiny voice is not pleasant, that people don’t like it and they stop listening to the whiner.  Help them to understand the negative effect of that sound by involving them in role play or tape recording the whiny voice versus the normal voice.  Listening to themselves as a third party can be effective in helping them understand why whining is bad.  Remember to praise the use of a normal voice when appropriate.

A child will whine when she is unable to express herself.  Try to recognise when this is the case and instead of reprimanding try to help the child verbalize their needs.  Help her with the verbiage so she is encouraged to tell you what is wrong.  Discussing feelings and needs means the child has less reason to whine.  The realisation that talking about her issues is more productive than whining will result from your positive attention.

When a child is whining distraction is a great tool for ending the tirade.  The whines can be silenced by completely switching the subject and animatedly indicating something fun.  ‘Does that bird have an umbrella?’  A bored child is a whiney child so recognise the signs of a kid on the road to boredom city.  Introduce a fun and compelling activity thus anticipating and ending tedium.  The whining option won’t even be a consideration when a child is busy.

A child seeking recognition recognises any attention as a success so don’t do negative attention.  Avoid yelling.  Never label a child a whiner – this is not a standard or expectation you want to set for them.  Finally, remain calm and never give in to whining.  Though you may be gnashing your teeth stick to your guns.  Giving in after 20 minutes of incessant whining sends a message to the child that persisting with this behavior pays off.  The child will learn that you respond positively only to a normal voice.  It’s tough but stay the course and you could have a positively serene environment.

Dealing With Difficult Behaviors in Day Care

I drop in on a child care providers discussion forum from time to time and make comments/suggestions if I feel I can be of help (or just want to join in on a rant!!).  Recently, one of the providers had a terrible ongoing problem with a chid who was wilfully destroying her property i.e. toys, day care equipment and furniture.  The parents laugh it off, ask the child to say an empty ‘I’m sorry’ and offer no discussion nor action for remedy.  As you can imagine this poor lady is at her wits end.  To date the child has deliberately destroyed over $200 worth of items.  All too often day care providers can be faced with very delicate situations when handling difficult behavior in a child.

Difficult and challenging behaviors can be a tough fact of day care life.  The reasons for said behaviors can be various but all need to be dealt with from the outset in a firm and consistent manner.  When it becomes clear that a child is being continuously disruptive, destructive and aggresive it is time to ‘meet the parents’.  Dealing successfully with any challenging behavior necessitates parental cooperation.  Discussion will uncover if similar behavior occurs in the home, if there is a root cause that can help all parties better understand the triggers and reasons for the behavior.  Most importantly though, the parent/provider meeting will ensure that a mutual behavior plan is on the table and everyone is on the same page. It is pointless if you are being consistent and constructive in your handling of the child if the same positive actions are not dealt out at home.

Use your behavior policy (you do have one right??) as an outline for formulating an individual plan.  Ensure that you put in place a time frame for implementation and a deadline for reevaluation.  It is helpful also to include in your parent handbook/contract details of situations where parents will be expected to cough up for ‘over the top’ damages caused by their child.  Insert also your ‘end of tether’ clause where you would be forced to ask a client to withdraw their child due to ongoing issues and lack of cooperation/communication. Don’t forget, sometimes professional, outside help is required….that does not indicate failure on the part of either the provider or parent.  It is simply the best way forward in some cases.

Dealing with ‘No’ at Day Care

We all know the scenario…. toddler hears the word ‘no’ many times, toddler ignores the word ‘no’, toddler learns the word ‘no’, toddler thinks saying the word ‘no’ is absolutely hilarious, the word ‘no’ becomes apparently ineffective and provider is at wits end! Enunciating the word ‘no’ is easier than saying ‘yes’, add that to the fact that kids tend to hear ‘no’ a lot more frequently and you get a perfect recipe for this seeming negativism.

Toddlers are experimenting with their developing personalities, identities and emerging independence and tend to use this strong, simple yet popular word to demonstrate their individualism.  ‘No’ becomes a declaration of separateness and will be directed at everything and everyone.  How to counter this negativism?  While rules and boundaries are necessary we should try to limit the authoritarian directives, redirect behaviors and save the ‘no’s for when they are absolutely essential.  ‘No’s are vital for health and safety issues but too many can be stifling for a child and they will rebel or simply ignore all those overwhelming rules.

Avoid arbitrary rules – ‘don’t do that because I said so’ instead offering a rationale – ‘don’t put your fingers in the door jam because they’ll get chopped off!!’.  Explaining the reasons for your rules to kids helps them to understand why they exist thus making it easier to follow them.  Don’t anticipate bad behavior (even though you have a fairly good idea that George is about to spill his juice), wait until it has happened before you yell ‘no’ otherwise you are simply filling your days with unnecessary ‘no’s.  Try to offer positive suggestions – ‘Let’s paint this nice card for mom’ is more likely to have a positive effect than ‘Don’t paint on the table’.

Offer alternatives to off limit items so that when a child reaches for the teacher’s scissors you can say ‘here, this curly straw is for you’ or allow participation in certain things under supervision.  When you say ‘no’ mean ‘no’.  You may be tired and wrung out but you must be firm and consistent – kids can spot a feeble, distracted ‘no’ from a mile off.  Remember also, you are the adult, you are in charge, you are in control.  Remain calm, don’t respond with anger and never plead.  A calm ‘no’ is the most authoritative and effective.  And finally, always praise good and positive behavior.  In a sea of ‘no’ the tiniest ripple of compliance should be acknowledged and rewarded.

I drop in on a child care providers discussion forum from time to time and make comments/suggestions if I feel I can be of help (or just want to join in on a rant!!).  Recently, one of the providers had a terrible ongoing problem with a chid who was wilfully destroying her property i.e. toys, day care equipment and furniture.  The parents laugh it off, ask the child to say an empty ‘I’m sorry’ and offer no discussion nor action for remedy.  As you can imagine this poor lady is at her wits end.  To date the child has deliberately destroyed over $200 worth of items.  All too often day care providers can be faced with very delicate situations when handling difficult behavior in a child.

Difficult and challenging behaviors can be a tough fact of day care life.  The reasons for said behaviors can be various but all need to be dealt with from the outset in a firm and consistent manner.  When it becomes clear that a child is being continuously disruptive, destructive and aggresive it is time to ‘meet the parents’.  Dealing successfully with any challenging behavior necessitates parental cooperation.  Discussion will uncover if similar behavior occurs in the home, if there is a root cause that can help all parties better understand the triggers and reasons for the behavior.  Most importantly though, the parent/provider meeting will ensure that a mutual behavior plan is on the table and everyone is on the same page. It is pointless if you are being consistent and constructive in your handling of the child if the same positive actions are not dealt out at home.

Use your behavior policy (you do have one right??) as an outline for formulating an individual plan.  Ensure that you put in place a time frame for implementation and a deadline for reevaluation.  It is helpful also to include in your parent handbook/contract details of situations where parents will be expected to cough up for ‘over the top’ damages caused by their child.  Insert also your ‘end of tether’ clause where you would be forced to ask a client to withdraw their child due to ongoing issues and lack of cooperation/communication. Don’t forget, sometimes professional, outside help is required….that does not indicate failure on the part of either the provider or parent.  It is simply the best way forward in some cases.

The safety and well being of the kids at our day care is our primary responsibility as providers. Although we may often feel as though we are merely umpiring bedlam we are not simply caretakers but facilitators, charged with the important task of developing every aspect of these growing individuals. Encouraging creativity and imagination is a vital aspect of this facilitation role. Children are guaranteed a richer and more complete life if we have opened the door to multiple creative outlets. Here are some pointers on opening those doors.

Kids will learn to grow and appreciate the arts, culture and beauty following even small amounts of exposure to same. When possible arrange brief visits to the art gallery, museum or craft fair so that kids get an overview of different forms of art. Introduce music to the curriculum by playing different styles of music and have the kids dance and move about plus arrange trips to see plays and musical performances. Get out on nature walks to show the kids first hand the natural beauty surrounding them, introduce sand and water for experimental play and discover the multitude of creative activities available in the kitchen. Reading is vital and should be encouraged. Stories at story time can become rambling yarns that become plays that take on a life of their own. No limits!

A love of music is naturally inbuilt into kids. Improvising with whatever is available get the musical instruments out and let the orchestra loose. Begin having theatrical, singing workshops that breathe life and vibrancy into songs. Remember to praise all artistic attempts no matter how off the wall it appears to you personally.

Creativity demands that there be mess so allow it. Neat and tidy playrooms tend not to encourage creative spirits so put your happy face on, roll up your sleeves and revel in the mess. Laying newspapers, spreading a tarp and using art aprons can help minimize some of the damage. Don’t attempt to direct the artistic efforts unfolding around you just let them develop. Freedom of expression leads to personal works of art no matter what age the artist. If your help is requested lend a hand, discuss works in progress, ask questions but avoid critiques.

Many and wondrous are the benefits of imaginative and creative play. Experimentation with verbal skills is likely as children feel less threatened in imaginary situations. Active problem solving and expression of fears or concerns are also encouraged via role play. A child will grow in confidence as his heretofore untapped talents are released through creative endeavors. Welcome to the magical land of the imagination where boredom is no more!